becoming the biggest loser

The jeans weren't fitting quite right.

Noticeable chubbiness under the cheeks.

Actually got a sore throat!

And wow, I just weighed in at 160 lbs.

But c'mon, honestly, I know EXACTLY what I am doing to myself so why do I need the "tell-tale" signs. I know the darn tale. Heck, I wrote the darn tale! I shouldn't need to be told.

But for those that don't know the tale, here's a quick flash back to2009. I totally accomplished my goal of completing my first marathon in October 09. It was an awesome experience and I still till this day, can't believe that I actually did it! But the completion of a marathon lent itself to considerable pride. It made me feel like I was untouchable - that I could do whatever the hell I wanted.

I am still eating clean and green (yay!) but I've let some vices back into my life - chocolate and bad carbs. Not the occasional chocolate mind you - I've somehow convinced myself that I can whatever chocolate I wanted, even if it wasn't necessarily good chocolate. I let myself eat bread and all the holiday parties, even though I didn't really care for them.

Not like I really need evidence but the fact is - I am now 160 lbs, 10 lbs heavier than I was 6 months ago and feeling crummy. I'm so not untouchable. Really the problem is not chocolate or bread, the problem is pride. I already have head knowledge of what the effects of over-indulgence can be. I already have a change in heart at my attitude towards chocolate, but I am proud, indulgent and willfully in denial. But today, I take full responsibility and blog humbly before you of my very human shortcomings.

My health goal for 2010 is not going to be weight-oriented, its going to be more tangible - I want a visible 6-pack. I've never seen it! Honest! And I'm tired of a weighing-scale goal so I'm going for something more touchy feely. Not sure how I'm going to track this goal but pictures might be the way to go. Expect this blog to get a little bit more fleshy than you're used to.

If you're still reading my blog, I'm so glad you are. Accountability is back on and you guys are a big part of it.

:) Happy New Year!!!
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Hey guys,

Sorry I've been so MIA. Have been crazy getting our house ready for move -in condition, training for the marathon. I'm still very much alive and kicking! Here's my race report! (more pics to come later)

~~~~ js ~~~~~

The Trigger
When we made our way to Union Square yesterday, and 20,000 magnificent ladies gathered, my mum said, “oh so you’re not the only crazy one”. I’m not! And we’re definitely not crazy! Turning 30 was pretty big for me this year. The last year saw me go through a transformation of my life and I wanted to end my 20s with a bang.

Rule #1 – Achieve something.

Figured I would sign up to push myself to the max and actually be realistic with my goals. Having ran regularly 3-4 x a week for a year now, a marathon seemed in reach. And not just any marathon, if I’m going to run one – it has got to be the Nike women’s. I need that tiffany’s necklace for bragging rights.

Rule #2 – if you’re going to run a marathon – make the darn prize worth your while.

The problem with that particular marathon is every single lady marathoner wants to run it at some point in their lives. It’s the only one where you get presented with a tiffany’s pendant by hunky firemen in tuxedos. So … they have a lottery system and getting in is luck of the draw. I put my name in, crossed my fingers, and got it. Oh shit, was my first thought when I got my notification e-mail. No excuses now!!!

The Journey – Wk 0-16

For 4 months, I
- Sacrificed Saturday morning for long runs. (Thanks to Mikee who did the grocery shopping, and friends who supported me on the > 14 mile runs)
- Sacrificed Saturday afternoon for long naps
- Pretty much gave up on any form of social life during the week days. Had to run 3-4x on the weekday evenings

Rule #3- Make running become your life. At least for a few months.

- Ran without music. Realized I can be very comfortable with myself for hours letting my mind go free.
- Went through 3 pairs of running shoes: Brooks, Asics & Saucony
-
Rule #4 - Make sure you get properly fitted for shoes. Don’t just buy the pretty ones. Your feet won’t be too pretty after.

- Sprained my left ankle twice, both times from just being stupid.
- Missed about 25% of runs due to ankle injuries

Rule #5 – Don’t try to make up for runs you miss.

- Invested about $140 worth of happy feet massages (they are $20 each)

Rule #6 – Don’t skimp on the $20 chinese massages.

Injury #1 – Wk 6
On the day of my 13 miler Saturday training run , I sprained my ankle. Not during the run, but right after. I was standing at the sidewalk, stretching, and I didn’t realize the sidewalk dropped right behind my left ankle… and there it went. Wrapped it up for a week and didn’t run for 2. I didn’t feel too bad considering it was earlier in the game.

Rule #7 - Don’t get complacent.

Injury #2 – Wk 12

4 weeks before race day, I had planned a rather hilly 14 miler around Lexington Reservoir. I was feeling pretty much like this run was in the bag. You know how you just have a pretty awesome feeling, that was it. And then the view of the reservoir came up and I thought – wow, I should really take this in more. And thud right there, I had lost focus, and steered off the road and my same darn left ankle rolled off the side.

Rule #8 – Stop to smell the roses, Don’t run while smelling the roses. Keep your eyes on the road while your feet are moving. (applies only to people like me. And you know who you are)

This left me pretty much out of commission for awhile. I stopped running for 2 weeks and did as much kettlebells and weights as I could to get my core strong, per Susan’s recommendation. A few had even advised that I should consider skipping my run to let my ankle heal properly (er hello like NO WAY?). But I decided it was important to listen to my body.

Post injury runs – Wk 14-15

First run was a short 3 miler on Tuesday. Did not feel good – ankle was yelling at me to stop. Fine. I gave it another 4-day break. On Saturday, I broke it out on the treadmill for 9 miles. It was probably my worst long run ever. I had to stop every couple of miles to stretch and roll the ankle. It wasn’t feeling perfect at all. People kept asking… how’s the ankle? I kept saying it was fine because I somehow felt that by staying positive, it might just heal faster.

I continued to do my training runs at this point but forced myself to keep it slow so as not to aggravate the injury further.

Rule #9 - You can’t always be a hero. Be ok with being slow and letting the grannies cruise on by on the trail.

1 week before race day, I ran my final long run of 8 miles on the los gatos creek trail. The ankle complained a few times – but it was no longer rebellious complaining, just some whining. So I kept going and those 8 miles felt awesome. Left ankle still remained sore after, but we can all deal with a little soreness in life.

Rule #10 Don’t be a whiner. Sore muscles are ok.

3 days to race day

I could not sleep on the days leading up to October 18th. I woke up frequently and woke up way too early for my own good. And whenever I thought of the marathon, I felt like puking. There were these nasty images in my mind of limping off the trail in crutches, no tiffany’s pendant in sight. That’s when I decided I will have to accept a new race day strategy.

- Maintain a 12 min/mile no matter how freaking slow that feels
- Force a 0.5 mile walk every 6 miles
- Listen to the ankle. If it is whispering to stop, don’t. If it is yelling to stop, do.
- Be OK with not finishing the race, as long as I know permanent injury is at stake.
- Basically, it’s not time to be a hero.

Rule #11 - Plan a realistic race-day strategy.

I didn’t crazy carbo load but I did eat starting eating about 60% good carbs during dinner (which is 50% more than what I usually eat) and got lots of lean protein. I drank religiously and stretched plenty.

Eve of race day

Went through my check list to make sure I didn’t forget anything: shoes, socks, pants, undies, run bra, tri top, running hat, sunnies, spf, small cellphone.

Things I forgot: body glide, throwaway sweater for first couple of miles.

Went to pick up race packet. Even more nausea, but of course didn’t tell anyone. Didn’t want my mum to think nausea had anything to do with my ankle. But really, it was just cold feet.

Told time and time again that I shouldn’t eat anything funky the night before but I could not resist the tuna and spicy salmon sashimi don. Cleaned it all up. ☺

Could not sleep all night. Darn.

Rule #12 – Get as much sleep as you can up to 2 weeks before the race. OD on it! You’ll start losing sleep closer to d-day so load up on sleep inventory!

Race day

No nausea today. Yay. Finally seeing the 20,000 runners gathered at Union Square must have been the perfect antidote. I am not the crazy one. And I’m definitely not the only one recovering from injury.

We suited up and thanks to Chris, I was able to get some body glide on.

7am – and we’re off. We hack into the 9 min/mile group and get to the start line in 5 mins, not bad! Except the 9 min-milers must have hated us … SORRY!!!

Mile 1-5
With everyone passing me, there was almost an instinct to speed up. But I kept looking at my GPS watch to maintain the 12 min mile. I was going to be a good girl today – NOT going to kill myself over this. We ran through downtown SF, by the embarcadero and along fisherman’s wharf. Killer ocean views and the start of killer hills. Still, going strong and ankle seemed to be responding well. Water and Gatorade every 2 miles, so that was nice.

I ran past runners that had pictures of loved ones on their backs. Many were running for a specific cause or in memory of someone and it was too emotional to bear. I had to tell myself to not look otherwise I’d be sobbing the rest of the way.

Mile 5-10 aka neverending hills
Here’s where the series of hills went on and on and on … the hills training I did at Rancho totally helped. Didn’t have to stop once! The presidio had nice views though, and that totally made up for everything. At some point, I had even forgotten about the hills. Didn’t stop for my mandatory walk at 6 miles because I tried to be a hero. At around the 8 mile mark, I remembered my hero rule and stopped to talk a quarter mile. At 8.5 miles, there were sliced oranges from Kaiser permante. And at 9 miles, luna bars. Still not hungry, so I skipped.

The end of the 10 miles was the start of the great highway. You could see the “finish village” … which was kinda depressing knowing you had 16 more miles to go.

I stopped to admire the view here. Just spectacular. Snagged a photo of two.

Mile 11-15 Golden Gate Park
We got into Golden Gate Park and it still wasn’t quite done with the hills at this point. Not quite as bad but bad enough. Miles 11.5, bananas from safeway. Still not hungry, I passed. At 12.5 mile mark, stopped for my mandatory walk and did some stretching. I noticed a first aid station to the side of me. There was a young runner getting her ankle tended to, tears streaming down her face as the medic told her she am not able to complete her run. I felt sorry for her but at the same time I thought, that could have been me. Don’t be a hero, Don’t be a hero.

After the mandatory walk, I picked it up again and kept it at 12 min mile. Still feeling pretty awesome as I came up on 15 miles. This might actually happen!!! Continued to get water at every water stop.

Mile 16-20 The Great Highway
I make it a point not to eat when I run unless I absolutely have to (didn’t want to do #2), so up to this point, I hadn’t eaten at all since yesterday. I was also starting to feel it. All I really wanted was a banana and coconut water. So at mile 18, it was like the heavens heard me. Perched right on the median in these comfy lounge chairs was Michael and Jen! I saw them from a distance and was just so happy seeing my first official supporters!!! I stopped to stretch and wow, I had a giant can of coconut water AND banana for consumption. Hallelujah!!! Of course, we had to stop for the token pictures and after chugging that amazing coconut water, I was off. I felt a pretty awesome energy surge and kept going strong for the next couple of miles.

Ran past a Canadian runner, likely in her 50 miles, “Will I finish in time to get my tiffany’s necklace?”. She was extremely worried she wouldn’t make it. Lol, what people do for that darn necklace!!!

Miles 20-25 Lake of pain
This part of the run loops around Lake merced. Not particularly wonderful views or anything, plus you are running along side cars. Mile 22 is when the left ankle launched a full-on rebellion. There was no denying it. Every step was a spasm of intense pain right up the side of my foot. I thought of that young runner at the first aid station… that ain’t gonna be me. I slowed to a brisk walk at 13.5 min mile and decided to walk as far as I could. Even if I had to walk to the end of the finish line, I will.

Many describe this zone as “hitting the wall”. I don’t think I ever felt that. My legs wanted to go on, my heart wanted to go on, right ankle ready to go but just the left ankle holding us back. The minutes crawled by as I power walked around the lake. I got bored and picked up a luna chocolate bar – mmm it wasn’t bad at all. I always hated all the powerbar mumbo jumbo but luna was actually palatable surprisingly.

At mile 23, my dear husband showed up to haul me in. I informed him of the condition and he was relieved he didn’t have to run the rest of the way with me. For his efforts, I rewarded him with Ghiradelli chocolate I had snagged from Mile 21 for him. Ran past a guy wearing a tshirt “power-enhancing hugs for free”! Aww, how sweet, but I passed.

We power walked together and at mile 24ish was joined by Hazel

!Soon, I could see the finish line in sight. Here’s where I abandoned all the rules I made for myself – I’m going to finish this race and rip it up. Off I went, sprinting, ignoring the pain, and passing everyone in front of me to cross the finish line.

I visualized this moment for many months – and each time I saw myself weep at the finish line. But I didn’t. I received my tiffany’s medal from the oh-so-hot-fireman-in-a-tux and felt so relieved that this was done. Wow, I did it. I actually ran a marathon. And my thoughts? Eh… it wasn’t too bad really? Asides from the ankle and smelliness, no blisters, no aches or new sprains, no chaffing, no sickness. Anyone can do it… you just have to train I suppose. The more you train, the easier the marathon will be, just simple math really.

Rule #13 – Do whatever it takes to complete your first marathon safely. But at least, finish in style.

Rule #14 – Don’t expect to run a marathon if you are not going to train for it.

Chris and I reunited, she was way ahead of me, and made sure we got plenty of photo ops around the finisher’s village. We still had plenty of energy to do jumps and stuff so that will tell you we didn’t give it 200%. :P

Met up with some old friends like Eric and Cam at the finisher's village which was nice. Kinda glad Mum finally decided to come out to support me on the race. I was getting extremely tired of her telling me to give it up!!!

Went home and had a ginormous Chinese dinner and a ginormous chocolate cake. Mmmmmmm… so worth it. ☺

And here's the tiffany's necklace in all its beauty.... sigh.

The Day After
I woke up at 4am today. And this is when it really hit me hard I think. Wow, what an experience. I never want to forget this experience so I got up and started writing this account. And note to self - I'm feeling fine! Might do a short run today or tmrw to kinda ease it down a little.

The best advice I can give for the first-time marathoner to make up your own list of rules. My own experiences have shaped mine, which is why I was more likely to stick to them.

Rules

Rule #1 – Achieve something.
Rule #2 – if you’re going to run a marathon – make the darn prize worth your while.
Rule #3- Make running become your life. At least for a few months.
Rule #4 - Make sure you get properly fitted for shoes. Don’t just buy the pretty ones. Your feet won’t be too pretty after.
Rule #5 – Don’t try to make up for runs you miss.
Rule #6 – Don’t skimp on the $20 chinese massages.
Rule #7 - Don’t get complacent.
Rule #8 – Stop to smell the roses, Don’t run while smelling the roses. Keep your eyes on the road while your feet are moving. (applies only to people like me. And you know who you are)
Rule #9 - You can’t always be a hero. Be ok with being slow and letting the grannies cruise on by on the trail.
Rule #10 - Don’t be a whiner. Sore muscles are ok.
Rule #11 - Plan a realistic race-day strategy.
Rule #12 – Get as much sleep as you can up to 2 weeks before the race. OD on it! You’ll start losing sleep closer to d-day so load up on sleep inventory!
Rule #13 - Run comfortably throughout. Finish in style.
Rule #14 – Don’t expect to run a marathon if you are not going to train for it.
Rule #15 – Get inspired and shape your own rules.
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Friday, January 8, 2010

1/8/10

Hello from the iPhone

:: whats the plan right? ::

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

:: 2010 ::

Saturday, November 7, 2009

:: weekly meal plan 11/7-11/13

Saturday, October 31, 2009

:: weekly meal plans are back! ::

Monday, October 19, 2009

:: marathon finisher! ::

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